Victim or Victor Mentality

Someone once said that musicians can't talk themselves into an excellent performance, but they can talk themselves out of one! Occasionally, a performer would play wrong notes, especially when learning a new piece, but you learn not to dwell on those mistakes. The problem with obsessing over a wrong note is that it has a cascading effect: one wrong note leads to another wrong note, which in turn leads to another wrong note, until the piece becomes a disaster.

The part this plays in our life is attitude. What is attitude? Attitude refers to our mental and emotional response to life's circumstances. While we cannot change many of the situations we encounter, we have the power to choose whether those circumstances will strengthen or break us. Our attitude influences not only our actions but also shapes our character. Some individuals are chronic pessimists, consistently responding negatively to every situation they encounter. In contrast, others can look at the same circumstances and choose to maintain a positive outlook. Throughout the Bible, we are encouraged to adopt the attitude of overcomers and victors.

I'm convinced that we live in a time when victimhood is celebrated more than ever. There's even a term for people who seem unable to cope with life's difficulties: "snowflakes." These individuals often appear self-absorbed, easily offended, and they retreat to so-called safe spaces even when just being faced with opposing viewpoints. Actions like these contribute to the broader notion in our culture that we are all victims. Victims of our parents' shortcomings, victims of societal issues, and victims of inadequate education, hypocritical churches, or government incompetence and corruption.

This is nonsense! I don't need to remind you that we live in a broken world. Bad things happen, whether on a global, national, or personal level. Nowhere in the Bible does God promise to heal every physical ailment, restore every broken relationship, or replenish every depleted bank account. As Christians, we are not meant to succumb to despair or live as victims. True faith involves allowing God the freedom to do what is best for your life. And God grants victory to those who exercise faith.

It is essential to recognize that faith encompasses more than simply agreeing with what God declares to be true. Faith is believing what God says and acting accordingly, regardless of the consequences that may follow. Put practically, our faith is the way we can thrive in a world that brings despair, depression, and defeat. When we have faith that our heavenly Father wants what is best for us, we will gladly submit to His commands. God can use even the most difficult situations in our lives for our good and His glory.

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." – Romans 8:28

And what is the highest good God could imagine coming out of our trials? Paul provided the answer in verse 29: that we might "be conformed to the image of his Son." God's purpose is to use every circumstance we face to shape our character and mold us into more like Jesus Christ.

We may not always be able to change our circumstances, but we can change our attitudes. And changed attitudes result in changed lives.

"God Meant It for Good"

Perhaps no person in all of Scripture had a more victorious attitude in the face of difficult circumstances than Joseph.

Although the Bible never depicts Joseph as seeing himself as a victim, it is evident that he experienced the pain of victimization. From the ages of seventeen to thirty, Joseph bravely faced a seemingly endless series of injustices. For thirteen long years, he lived either in a pit, as someone else's property, or in prison. While the challenges you are facing may differ from Joseph's, the sense of injustice he endured is something everyone can relate to. If you live long enough, you will inevitably face the sting of unfair treatment and suffer unforeseen consequences, just as Joseph did.

He endured injustices stemming from unloving actions by his family, false accusations from others, and neglect from friends. However, God was preparing Joseph for the role He had planned for him, which involved a period of suffering for doing what was right. You may also be suffering for doing the right thing and perhaps wondering, "What's going on, God? Why aren't you rewarding me for my obedience?" It's easy to justify adopting a victim mindset during tough times. But remember, just as Joseph's story in Genesis 39 was not over, the final chapter of your life has yet to be written. Just as God was with Joseph, He is with you.

Suffering for Christ is when you experience negative consequences for doing what is right. You obey God, yet you still suffer for it. That's how Christ suffered. When Jesus died on the cross, He wasn't suffering for doing what was wrong, as the other criminals were; He was suffering for doing what was right. And that is the suffering Jesus plans for you and me.

Let's be honest: at this point in Joseph's story, most of us would probably give Joseph a pass if he had developed a victim mindset and given in to self-pity. But even in these challenging circumstances, Joseph chose to trust God.

When suffering comes into our lives, we tend to think, 'This is unfair!' God, why are You allowing this? Maybe you are in that spot right now. Perhaps you're in a crisis. You cry out to God, but there is no answer. As the days turn into weeks and the weeks turn into months, you wonder, Where is God when I need Him most?

Like Joseph, you can't imagine the plans God has for you, but you can know for sure that God has not forsaken you. Even circumstances that are unexpected and seem unfair and unbearable are part of God's plan for you.

From Prison to the Palace

After so many years of injustice, with the snap of Pharaoh's fingers, Joseph was made the prime minister of Egypt. Twenty-four hours earlier, he had been in prison: forgotten and forsaken, he thought, forever. The next day, he was appointed to be the second-in-command to Pharaoh.

Why is this story in the Bible? It reminds us that God is in control of all things and everyone. However, this story also assures us that we can maintain a victor's mindset, regardless of the circumstances we face in life, because God exalts His servants in His way and in His own time.

Thinking Like a Victor

Chances are, you've never been thrown into a pit or sold into slavery, nor have you spent years in prison for a crime you didn't commit. However, you have likely felt the hurtful words and actions from those who shouldn't have. You may have experienced heartbreak from a sibling or parent. You understand the frustration that comes with family disputes, as well as the disappointments and embarrassments stemming from generational family issues.

You have probably found yourself the subject of gossip or ridicule at some point in your life. Others have spoken about you behind your back, falsely accusing you of wrongdoing or questioning your motives. With each trial, you have felt humiliated and ashamed.

You are also likely familiar with the disillusionment of feeling forgotten and abandoned by friends. The people you helped showed no gratitude, and their support was absent when you needed it most. You and I often find ourselves stuck in situations beyond our control.

Life in this world is complex and unfair. We can't change that. The only thing we can change is our attitude. How will you respond to people who say or do hateful things? Will you rage and shake your fist, or will you hang your head in resignation? Will you crawl into bed and refuse to get out? Will you see yourself as a victim and act like one? Or, like Joseph, are you made of sterner stuff?

When we come to Christ, He gives us the greatest gift we will ever receive: the presence and power of the Holy Spirit. And because we have the Spirit of God in our lives, we no longer need to be victims of sin, whether our own or someone else's. But that is just the first step in thinking like a victor. We also need to develop mental toughness. We could call this tenacity.

The Response of a Victor

Victors don't feel sorry for themselves, and they don't quit; they persist. Persistence is the courage to continue pursuing your goal despite unexpected setbacks, undeserved criticism, and relentless hard work. How does this apply to you and me as we navigate the challenges in our lives?

Victors Keep God's Commandments

First, victors keep God's commandments. Remember, faith isn't just agreeing with what God says is true; it's agreeing with what God instructs us to do. In other words, when we face challenging circumstances, we choose to hold onto God's Word and allow it to guide us. Joseph exemplified this when he was tempted repeatedly by Potiphar's wife. When she tried to seduce him, he ran as far and as fast as he could from temptation.

"There is none greater in this house than I; neither hath he kept back any thing from me but thee, because thou art his wife: how then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?" – Genesis 39:9

Many years later, when Joseph had an opportunity to seek vengeance against his brothers for their mistreatment, he chose to forgive them. Why? Joseph believed in a God who was more powerful than his brothers, a God who could take the hurts inflicted by others and use them for Joseph's good and God's glory. Only when you have faith that God is bigger than your offenses do you obey God's command to forgive.

"And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." – Ephesians 4:32

Victors Glorify God in Their Lives

Second, victors glorify God in their lives. To glorify God means to shine the spotlight on God. The only reason God left us here on earth after saving us is so that we might cause others to see Him and be attracted to Him.

When we fully grasp that our purpose in life is to glorify God, we begin to view our challenges, hardships, and sufferings as opportunities to shine a spotlight on God's power and grace at work in our lives.

In describing Joseph's ordeal as a slave and a prisoner, the book of Genesis repeats this phrase: "The LORD was with Joseph." Why was God with Joseph? Joseph chose to glorify God in all he did and said, whether he was refusing the advances of Potiphar's wife, working diligently as a slave in Potiphar's house, serving as a prisoner to Potiphar, or serving as the prime minister of Egypt. Victors are to have an attitude that gives glory to God, no matter the situation.

"Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God." – 1 Corinthians 10:31

Victors Trust in God's Purposes

Finally, victors trust in God's purposes. As we have seen, the fundamental purpose of God allows us to go through difficulties so that we may become more like Christ. God is in the process of sculpting us into a perfect reproduction of His Son, whom He loves dearly. How does God make us look like Jesus? By using the heavy blows of His hammer and chisel to remove any attitudes, actions, or affections in our lives that are not like Jesus's and sculpt us into what we are meant to be.

God may also bring other good out of hardships. This was undoubtedly true of Joseph, who was able to look back on the painful events of his life and see how God used his brothers' wrong motivations and wrong actions to place Joseph in Egypt as Pharaoh's right-hand.

"But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive." – Genesis 50:20

That verse highlights a victor's mentality, which is essential for success. Our attitude, especially when facing life's challenges, can significantly impact whether we merely survive or truly thrive.

To live in this difficult world, we must resist the temptation to view ourselves as victims of others' actions or circumstances beyond our control. Instead, we should choose to cultivate and maintain a victor's mindset. This involves keeping our focus on God by obeying His commands and trusting in Him for everything He allows into our lives.